Pardon me for getting a jump on Christmas, but I am so amused and bemused by the recent brouhaha over the Starbucks red holiday cup that I’m not waiting for Thanksgiving and Black Friday to comment. What is so fricking offensive about the plain red cup embellished only with the green Starbucks logo that has Christian fundamentalists frothing over their whipped cream topped Chestnut Praline Latte? I mean, really people!
I love Ellen DeGeneres’ funny response to the controversy. She explains that these people are mad because Starbucks is being anti-Christmas. That’s because “the old cups had snowflakes, Santa’s sleigh and elves -- you know, all the things that you find in the bible.” She muses that this plain red cup may as well be called Satan sippers. But then, who’s she to talk? After all, she’s gay.
Stephen Colbert went even further on The Late Show by offering a silly solution to the unadorned Starbucks cup – cramming people’s cups with so much Christmas that “they’ll be picking tinsel out of their Yule Log for months.” Silliness to fight silliness. Works for me.
I can see we’re getting off to a good start on the holiday season of “peace and goodwill to all men.” Notice it doesn’t say “… and women.” Strike two, Ellen. I can’t wait to see what else will piss people off as the seasonal frenzy sets in.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Christmas. I’m looking forward to decorating my fake coconut tree with lots of lights and shiny ornaments, and a gold Buddha hanging out in the branches. Hey, maybe we should boycott Macy’s because I got the Buddha ornament from the store’s holiday display a few years back.
Maybe we should also ban the carols that have nothing to do with the Christian Christmas. You know, carols like “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer,” “Jingle Bells,” “Frosty the Snowman,” “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,” and “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”?
It occurs to me that self-righteous people tend to be humorless, and will likely take exception to this blog. To me, a lack of humor is a sign that we’re taking ourselves way too seriously. Speaking of humor, I see that the Donald has had his say about the Starbucks dust-up. Now, I’m not a Trump fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I wonder if he hasn’t been having a laugh at his conservative base’s expense throughout his so-called campaign. For example, how about his promise to build his infamous mega-wall along the Mexican border to keep those pesky illegals out? Really? And on top of that, he’d make the Mexican government pay for it. Double really? Maybe he was trying to see how far he could go on the absurdity scale and get away with it. (Great for ratings … and poll numbers.) As I watch his various antics, it seems as if he’s playing the role of being a conservative – almost a caricature – on his own comedy TV show. If that’s his game, he’s no Stephen Colbert. On the other hand, if he really believes his own nonsense, then Buddha help us! And what does that say about the people who have been cheering him on and keeping his poll numbers high?
Of course, this is all great stuff for the comedians who love The Donald for making their jobs so easy. Getting back to Starbucks … my favorite new comic, Trevor Noah who replaced Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, did his own riff on Trump and Starbucks. When Trump suggested boycotting his Trump Tower Starbucks, and promised that if he becomes president, we’ll all be saying “Merry Christmas!” Noah said it was like watching the most backwards Christmas movie ever, like the rich out of touch businessman is the one trying to save Christmas, and Tiny Tim is an atheist.
So there, Starbucks.
Unbelievable.
For all that, let me just say:
Happy Holidays!
